Here’s a shocker: I am a poet who writes about my feelings. And guess what, people in life, I feel about you. Often I attempt to clarify things by writing. And yes, it is mostly abstract and you may think unrelated (oh the whims of being ‘experimental’).
You know, when a poem that comes from that kind of process is done and I’m happy for it, it makes me happy. I want it in the world, I want it to be read.
But, ah, what about the subject of the poem. Should they read it? Should you tell them it’s about them? These are extremely teenage questions. I am, however, trying to refer to the public space, and what is needed for a poem to exist as a cultural rather than personal artefact.
If a poem about SUBJECT A that the poet loves/hates/finds attractive/ insert another response appears in a magazine or book, it seems fair to say that the poet has given up grasp on it. Perhaps the nicest thing to do would be to inform SUBJECT A of the poem’s existence.
But, you know, sometimes a poem says things that you wish you had the guts to say. If fact, most of the time. I am a much more formidable and bold person in poems than in the real world.
So why not just say here: this is for you?
Or, dear readers, should I keep my poems to myself (and readers who don’t cameo in the poem)?
02/02/2011 at 17:09
I dunno, sometimes it’s flattery, isn’t it? In that case, I lovingly share the piece. But some subjects require dark poems, because in some cases SUBJECT A is a complete asshole. So do you share it with them? Maybe. It could be amusing to note whether or not they recognize themselves…these are my amateur thoughts, at any rate.
Rick
02/02/2011 at 17:15
Flattery is a dangerous thing, though.
SUBJECT A may very well be complete asshole (he really is) but that doesn’t make the whole any less flattering and charged.
I wonder how much of a big deal non-poets think it is to write about someone? Cos for poets it could just be a moment, put down, you know?
02/02/2011 at 18:18
I think that’s always going to be a tricky thing. I guess it depends on the sentiments expressed…and likely the subject (A or otherwise).
I don’t write a lot of poetry, but I remember once I had written a poem for my valentine, such a personal thing to share my innermost feelings – which I then gave him (intentionally). The only problem was that he showed it to his sister, and I was mortified! It was just embarrasing when I’d laid my heart bare. I guess maybe he didn’t realise just quite how personal it was at the time.
02/02/2011 at 22:53
You know, other people I’m fine with. I write poetry, that’s the point for me.
I guess for me it’s the fear that the subject will articulate no response.
03/02/2011 at 06:43
Depends on the circumstances, I think. Another angle to consider: for anyone who knows both POET and SUBJECT A, learning that The Poem is about SUBJECT A will inevitably and probably unalterably colour their perceptions of The Poem (for good, bad, or neutral — in any case it will be difficult to divorce The Poem from SUBJECT A and look at it on its own). At least, it always has for me.
04/02/2011 at 02:33
You’re totally right, Molly. It’s kinda selfish to make the poem just exist between two people– it never asked for that!